Whatta you wanna do, huh…

South Park is all time. The first few minutes of this episode alone should easily confirm my point. However, should that not be enough to convince you (read as you are an idiot), you can watch any other episode  you want… gratis. That means free. In a time where every dollar you earn is accounted for by corporate/government America (think XM radio subscription, cell phone fee, OnStar system, Internet/cable/utilities, taxes, online dating service, actual dating service, IRS, etc.), having something for nothing is much appreciated. Kudos, South Park.

Holy taxes Batman.

I wonder if people are really in tune with the amount of money goes towards government taxation and general fees beyond what we actually buy each month. I know most people complain about the money taken from their paychecks each month, and perhaps sales tax is a nuisance for them, too. Overall, I think people just accept it as a part of life and move on, content to have “taxes” be just another topic to blah blah blah about.

Now that I am financially crippled to the point where, if I was a horse, I’d have to be shot for free, I am trying to get my hands around budgeting and money management. As I list my monthly bills and overdue amounts in a spreadsheet, I am taking note of the taxes and fees levied every month. To quote the Duke, it is re-goddamndiculous.

From my cable/internet/telephone bill – Telephone processing fee, Cable sales tax, Gross earnings, FCC user fee, Telephone sales tax, E911 access fee, State telephony relay charge,Federal excise tax, Telephone state sales tax, Regulatory cost fee,  and Federal universal service fund, totaling 13.32 each month. That is  abusive. Multiply that by how many people have cable/telephone/internet service and imagine where all of that money is going. Can you hear the proverbial flush?

How about my cell phone? Not as bad, but it is just one service. There is the Fed universal service charge again, Regulatory charge, Administrative charge, CT telecom relay surcharge, E911 fee, and State sales tax fee.

I checked my electric and gas bills too. I cannot even tell what I am getting charged for. After the Generation service charge, there is a Transmission charge, Distr Cust Service Charge, Distr charge per kwh, CTA charge per kwh, FMCC Delivery charge, and Combined public benefits charge (combining 3 charges into 1).  I won’t even put a number here, it makes me weep.

Then there is the gas company. This one is a real stone kicker. I have natural gas service for cooking only, because electric stoves are for kittens with milk mustaches.  The charge for the gas each month is about $7, but the bill is $23 because of fees, taxes, and a customer service charge of $15 each month. $15! Are you really doing that to me without asking? I mean, son of God almighty, that is just insanity. My mistake – the insanity is that I pay it, because the only choice I have is to fire up the camping stove or cook over the fire pit to be sure my venison steaks are worthy of theistic sacrifice.

So it goes.

Good old Democrats

After reading this article, I yearned for the Republicans to be back in office. At least they were predictable, committed, and united. You always knew where they stood. If you agreed with their agenda, you were happy because right or wrong, they got it done. Sure they may have destroyed this country over the last eight years, but they did it together and made their fellow cronies quite wealthy in the process.

Now the Democrats have a chance to reverse the damage, do some real good, and show everyone why they should be in power for the decade to come. Instead, without the Republicans holding their leashes and cracking the whip, the Democrats are running into each other trying to get the hell out of the way of progress. Quit jerking around and do something! JUST DO SOMETHING! What, you don’t want to make the same mistake as you did with the $750 bank bailout? Why not? The public decried that measure for weeks because it was clear you were helping those who did not need it while protecting your own assets. I guarantee if you  put money into the middle classes’ pockets, they will love you for it. You cannot go wrong. Regular Joes are sick of seeing the rich, powerful and corporations get what they want while the people struggle.  It is time to help those who you should have been helping in the first place. It is really simple – if the people can pay their bills, the economy moves again. Call it trickle-up economics. If I can make my mortgage and car payments, the banks have their money. If the banks have their money, they can lend money. If they can lend money, businesses can grow. If businesses grow, people get hired and can make their payments. Pretty simple really, even though the Democrats want it to be difficult so they have an excuse for sticking their heads in the sand. What is really complicated is the tax code, but this, this is easy. So return yourselves to the upright position, take Obama’s plan, push it through, and tweak it as necessary as we move along. Just do it.  You can do it. For God’s sake, will you do it? Idiots.

The devil is in the details

While Israel is blasting innocent civilians to hell and President Bush is sneaking one past the devil himself, it seems we could use some levity. Check out the following definitions, courtesy of the Urban Dictionary. Somehow adding “devil” to certain words really cracks me up -

Devil’s threesome – I believe this is what that wily serpent offered up to Eve if she ate the apple. That is why it is so taboo – you can never recover from such a vile transgression. If only Eve went the slightly more acceptable route, you might still be in the garden today…

Devil’s fart – this is just too damn funny. Don’t believe me? Read it again, farts are always funny. Always.

On a more somber note, there is this poor shlub. Just wanted to do a little skiing at ritzy Vail with the kids. Instead he is all over the internet being ridiculed (the guy was not hurt, so of course it is open season). However, the same cannot be said for the kid who was also up in the chair. If old dad was not already a major douche bag, this should put him over the top. Where are you supposed to look? “Hey Dad, you okay WHOA HOLY HAIRY GONADS DAD!”  I know suicide is a sin, but if that kid decided to end it, I would let him (or her) into Heaven, no questions asked.

Amen.

And then there are these…

I am having trouble finding really great images from 2008 (see heads and tails from 1/1/ 2009). Then I came across this. Some good stuff here, and a few worthy of a “what the hell is that?”

The first picture is a personal favorite – don’t mess with God, period.

Pictures five, twenty-six, thirty-one and thirty-eight are for real, folks. War is without question the easiest way to get rid of civilians. It is legalized murder, and easily condoned by those who can just turn the channel to avoid it.

Number twelve is baffling – people are just so damn stupid. Any wonder why there is a budget crisis in California? Do they drink that water? What does it take for people to stand up and say “Hell no, mother bus driver”?

More baffling is number 23. I really have no response to that one. Love the fashion – happening modern clothes with primitive war implements. Hey tough guy, we use blaze orange to not get shot in this country. I see a lucrative arms contract for whoever introduces them to camouflage and the atlatl.

Happy new year.

Blogging is hard

This is hard. I have so much to say and want to get out, but how do you do it  without exposing yourself? Multiple blogs I suppose, kind of like multiple personalities. I can have one for my good side, one for my bad side, one for rants and ravings, one to purge a messed up childhood. But then you have to keep track of all of that, and then it becomes overwhelming and then you stop altogether, which defeats the purpose and you end up blowing your brains out. I wonder if I can have secure sections in my blog accessible only by the select few. That may work. Kind of a backstage off limits area. But there are too many crackerjack whizbangers that could uncover the truth if they wanted to. Better to create separate identities. So I am God here is my bad guy, social commentary, general arrogant jerk who is hot for that chick that leaves comments. Trailboy is the family guy, the activist, everyone can see it, the righteous savior of the world, move the gear and hiking to that as well.  Maybe I should call it I am Jesus Here. Iamadd is my ADD one, that has to be anonymous, maybe even on another blog network, because I am going to unload some shist there. Add One time I to it as well.  Curious, keep pondering. Thoughts from a hottie?

In the beginning…

I am god here, but so what? God basically said, “I’ll make man in my image, in my likeness, and let man rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, etc.  And so He created Adam in His own image. Turns out God is a middle-aged lawyer with ADHD. No wonder He keeps resting every seventh day. And what about the powers? I know how I got here, but  I want to be God there. So it begins